The Most Important Love Story of Your Life

It’s Valentine’s Day. The world is draped in pink and red, chocolates are flying off the shelves, and Instagram is flooded with #blessed couple photos. But can we pause for a second?

Before we start feeling like we need to have a Nicholas Sparks-worthy romance or the perfect Valentine’s surprise, let’s talk about the most important relationship we’ll ever have: the one with ourselves.

Because when we stop chasing some impossible version of “better,” when we stop picking ourselves apart, life just feels different. Lighter. Fuller. More ours.

Every Dimple, Every Scar, Every Gray Hair—They Tell Our Story

Self-love isn’t about pretending to be perfect; it’s about embracing who we are, as we are. The laugh lines that prove we’ve spent years smiling. The extra skin and tiger stripes that tell the story of motherhood, growth, or change. The gray hair that whispers wisdom into our reflection. The scar on our knee from that time we thought we were invincible on rollerblades (yeah, that really happened).

When we stop waging war against our own bodies, our minds open up. The energy we once spent criticizing ourselves is freed up for joy, for presence, for connection. We become more available, not just to ourselves, but to our partners, our kids, our friends, our coworkers. When we stop worrying about how we look in a bathing suit, we’re suddenly able to be in the moment, building sandcastles, jumping waves, laughing freely.

And if we’re being honest, when we think of the women who shaped us: our mothers, our grandmothers, our aunties, what do we remember?

Do they have “perfect” bodies? Flawless skin? When we picture them, we don’t think about their weight, their stretch marks, or whether they had cellulite. We remember how they made us feel. We remember the smell of our grandmother’s perfume, the warmth of our mother’s hug, the way our auntie laughed so hard she cried.

Not once have we thought, Wow, she would have been a better person if she had toned arms and a flatter stomach.

So why do we hold ourselves to impossible standards when the women we admire most never needed them to be beautiful?

And sometimes, we wonder… do they struggle like this? Did the women in our ancestral line find it this hard to love themselves? Or did it come easier, without the constant barrage of photoshopped perfection, filters, and comparison culture? Were they able to embrace themselves more fully, or did they battle the same voices of self-doubt that we do now?

It Was Never About “Fixing” Ourselves

Today’s beauty standards are exhausting. Somewhere along the way, society decided that all women should look the same: smooth skin, big lips, perfect hair, full breasts, tiny waists. And social media only magnifies it, with filters and editing making us believe that flawlessness is the goal.

But when did looking like a clone become the standard of beauty? Why should we all chase the same curated version of perfection?

This doesn’t mean we need to stop setting goals or making changes that feel good. Go to the gym, dye your hair, wear the lipstick, but do it because you want to, not because you think you need to “fix” something.

For years, we thought happiness lived just a few pounds away, just a little more toned, just a little closer to some impossible standard. But the truth is, we were never going to get there because we were chasing the wrong thing.

We’ve spent too much time waiting for some future version of ourselves to be worthy of love, joy, and confidence. We’re done with that. Life feels too short to spend another second at war with the body that carries us through it.

How to Start Loving Yourself (For Real)

• Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend

  If your best friend stood in front of a mirror and started nitpicking every little thing about themselves, what would you say? You’d tell them to stop. You’d remind them how beautiful they are, how much they’re loved. So why do we talk to ourselves any differently?

• Stop Waiting for “Someday”

  Someday when we lose 10 pounds… Someday when our skin clears up… Someday when life feels more together… Nope. There is no magical moment when self-love just kicks in. We deserve to love ourselves now, exactly as we are.

• Find Beauty in the “Imperfections”

  Those things we think we need to hide? They’re part of what makes us us. A shift in perspective changes everything—what if we saw them as marks of resilience, signs of a life well-lived?

• Make Time for Yourself

  We pour into everyone else, but do we take time to fill our own cup? Prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Take a solo coffee date, read a book, go for a walk—whatever makes us feel good.

• Breathe. When self-doubt sneaks in or the day feels heavy, take a deep breath. Let it out. Repeat. A simple pause can shift everything.

• Move Your Body.

  Not to punish it, not to shrink it—just to be in it. Walk, swim, dance, stretch, garden—move in ways that make you feel good.

• Say Three Things You’re Grateful For Every Day.

  Gratitude rewires our brain to notice the good. Big or small, it all counts.

• Set Boundaries Without Guilt

  Loving ourselves means protecting our peace. If something drains us—a toxic friendship, a never-ending commitment, an expectation we’ve placed on ourselves—it’s okay to say no.

  
  

• Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

  The only comparison worth making? The one with your younger self. Have you grown? Have you learned? Are you becoming more of who you want to be? That’s what matters. Not whether you look like an Instagram model.

  
  

• Wear the Darn OutfitThat dress we’ve been saving for when we “feel ready”? Let’s wear it. Life is too short to save joy for later.

• Celebrate OurselvesEvery. Single. Day. Look in the mirror and say something kind. It might feel weird at first, but over time, those words sink in.

The Love That Changes Everything

When we start loving ourselves - truly, deeply, without conditions - everything shifts. Our relationships. Our patience with our kids. Our connection with our partner. Our ability to be present in our lives.

When we stop spending all our time wishing we were someone else, we can finally be ourselves, and that is the most beautiful, freeing thing of all.

This Valentine’s Day, whether we have a dozen roses or a quiet night on the couch, let’s remember this:

The best love story we will ever have is the one with ourselves.

So let’s start writing it in a way we’d be proud to read. ❤️

Need a little help getting started?

We put together a fun and easy Self-Love Challenge to help you build confidence, shift your mindset, and actually enjoy the person staring back at you in the mirror.

Download your Self-Love Challenge for FREE here! Checkout as you normally would and it will be sent straight to you inbox!

30-DAY SELF-LOVE CHALLENGE

Loving ourselves isn’t just a feeling, it’s something we practice every day.

Let’s do it together.