From Facebook Creeping to Forever: Our Unlikely Love Story

You know how everyone has that timeline in their head of when life's big moments are supposed to happen? Graduate college, find "the one," get married, have kids - that whole checklist society hands you? Well, I had a different plan. Or more accurately, no plan at all.

In my early twenties, I was what you'd call a free spirit (code for: couldn't stay in one place longer than a few months). While my older sisters were picking out china patterns and walking down aisles, I was busy exploring the world, working with kids across different cultures, and collecting experiences that shaped who I was becoming. Something was supposedly "wrong" with me because I wasn't frantically searching for Mr. Right. But sometimes life's best stories start when you're not looking for them at all.

Enter Facebook, 2009. Back when "social media romance" wasn't really a thing, and online dating was still something people whispered about. My sisters, eternal matchmakers that they are, suggested I follow this guy Matthew (they knew his mom - small world and all that). What followed was the most millennial love story ever: mutual profile creeping (don't judge, we all did it), cautious likes, and finally, the brave step into... emails. Remember T9 texting? Yeah, we mastered that art form.

Here's the thing nobody tells you about online connections - sometimes you fall in love with someone's mind before you ever see their face in person. By the time we arranged to meet, I was already head over heels. When Matthew first said "I love you," I laughed - pure nervousness, bless his heart. (Sorry, Matthew!) But somehow, between nervous laughs and stolen glances, we found our rhythm.

From our first awkward meeting in 2009 (with my sister Stacy and husband Kris as not-so-subtle chaperones), to a December engagement, to a wedding where I was just shy of 24 - which feels practically ancient to me then but hilariously young now. Within 14 months of our first hello, we'd met, married, and were expecting our first baby. Talk about not letting grass grow under your feet!

I came into our relationship with zero dating experience, while Matthew had lived more of that kind of life. Meanwhile, I had backpacked through Europe and collected experiences that shaped me in different ways. Where I'm spontaneous and ready for adventure, he brings steadiness and careful planning. Where I dream big, he knows how to break those dreams into achievable steps. Instead of seeing our different paths as complementary pieces of who we were, I initially let my insecurities turn his past into mountains I had to climb. Those mountains were all in my head. Our different experiences - his dating history, my adventurous spirit - made us a better team once I got out of my own way.

Then came the wedding planning. Between our different church backgrounds, it felt like we were negotiating international treaties instead of planning a celebration. Looking back, I wish I'd listened more to Matthew's input - I mean, he probably had the right idea about keeping things simple, but over the years I've learned how to listen. That's one of the biggest ways we've grown - learning to truly hear each other, not just wait for our turn to speak.

Love isn't just about feelings - it's in the small moments. It's the way Matthew looks at me across a chaotic dinner table, how we tackle bedtime routines as a team, the silent understanding when one of us is having a rough day. We've developed our own language of small gestures - a squeeze of the hand during stressful moments, coffee made just the way he likes it, sharing the last bite of dessert. Every night before bed, we share three compliments, three things we appreciate about each other, and three feelings - with the rule that you can't be negative about your partner. Then we tell each other the last time we felt those emotions. It's these little rituals, these moments of intentional connection, that keep our love growing stronger.

Along the way, we've lost some friends - it's funny how marriage and kids have a way of revealing which friendships are like tree branches: some snap easily in the wind, while others stay strong through every storm. But together, we've built something beautiful, not despite our differences and struggles, but because of them. We've learned to dance in the rain instead of waiting for the storm to pass. Going to therapy together and attending a marriage workshop at church strengthened our bond even more - teaching us tools we still use today to keep our connection strong.

As we approach our 15th wedding anniversary this June, I can't help but laugh at our journey. We've moved more times than fingers on one hand in just 5 years - each time with 3 small children in tow. Are we crazy? Probably. Do we have it all figured out? Not even close. But I don' think anybody does. We're all just treading water, doing our best to stay afloat.

I love Matthew more today than at our wedding, more than during our awkward first meeting, more than in those early Facebook days. We've got a beautiful family, countless memories, and a stronger bond than ever. Sometimes the best adventures come with roots.

So, here’s what I’ll leave you with:

If your life isn’t following that neatly packaged timeline society tries to sell you - good. Maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be, or your story doesn’t look like everyone else’s. That doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re writing something different, something uniquely yours.

Love, success, family, adventure - none of it comes with a deadline. The best things in life don’t happen on a schedule. They happen when you’re busy living, when you’re open to possibility, when you stop measuring your life against someone else’s checklist.

So if you’re feeling behind, take a deep breath. You’re not. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️